A Question?

I apologize for being away so long. I was beginning to loose hope to having those out there wanting to know the truth. I know not all believe is as true, but I guess it’s best they do not believe.

“Is it wise to be in love with a human if you’re a vampire?”

This is, of course, an emotional question for me. As you all may have seen with these fictional characters how they would just take what they want. Not I. Why would I let someone else suffer eternity as I have? Yes I’ve been in love, but I would never go as far as in loving her to an undying death. To be hollow is a punishment I will not give. I hope you all understand.

Actually, you may not understand unless you’ve been through the constant cycle.

Let me start with a memory…

I will give no details so that you can find a date. If you were a true believer you may actually try and find me. The past is the past so I beg you do not try. I would like my existence to be secretive. I’m sure I’ve mention I could be killed, but I doubt it. Maybe I would be confined for eternity and suffer even more. I plan not to have that. I will give a story and that is all. Just think of me as a story. I’m not real…

I have fallen in love many times. It is hard to stay away and I’ve somehow done well. Like the fictional vampires they see a beautiful being and want it as their own. Others out there know not to just go and take their lives. We all agree to leave it as just us. Yes there are more than one of us. I am not the only one and I’m sure I am not the only other who has opened up some truth out there. We don’t all stay around each other. Eternity is not such a grand time to spend together.

I’m off subject…
I wanted someone I could not have. She was very beautiful. Too beautiful. It was hard for me to stay away. I watched her and indulged in her actions. I even envied her life. She had so much life I yearned so greatly for it! Oh God how I wanted to have life. I wanted to be mortal again just so I could spend a life with her, but you cannot just become mortal again. Some have tried. Try jumping off a building and surviving. It didn’t feel good to them though…
I feel pain everyday. I bleed. I cry. I eat. I am like you, but I cannot die…
Some tried starving themselves and what fun that was. They couldn’t wither away. They just suffered. You don’t want to starve yourself too long. I do drink blood, but I will not tell you how I get it. That is for you to ponder.

I still think of her to this day. I guess she was the favorite of them all. She died long ago. Such a wise woman. She was even beautiful as an elder. To see someone like her with such life made you crazy. I paced daily thinking of it so much. My heart hurt and yes I do have a heart. You can say it’s soulless. It feels hollow to me everyday. That’s was it does to you after being around for such a long time. Can you guess my age? You can guess what I was when I became a vampire or even how old I am now. I’m not too sure. I would have to actually count! I don’t keep track. I may go more crazy knowing…

I do love now that when I write time begins to speed up a bit, but I won’t just keep writings. I would like to not bore you too much. Ask many many more questions and I would love to answer. I would love to have a harder question. I plan to test myself now.

I may plan to make messenger and you all can interact with me. Don’t think I’ll let you find me though. I’ve been around long enough to keep myself very secretive of my whereabouts.