“When you first realized/discoverd what you are, what was your initial reaction?
I’m not quite sure how to answer this, but I will try as best as my mind will let me…
Are you a believer of psychics, telepaths, and such? I do. I’ve experienced my own kind with these abilities. Maybe it’s the reason why they were chosen. I will never really know.
I’m sure I mention before that I had believed in choice. Well there’s a reason behind that. Vampires as bored as I, maybe even more bored, tend to ponder ways to keep them entertained. They would go as far as taking someone else into their suffering. They would find a companion and take them without a given choice. That’s what happened to me…
It was very long ago and I hate to think of this ever again, but why would I be writing to all of you? I guess this is my entertainment. I was ignorant for my actions. Wine is such a grand beverage. I still to this day drink it’s deliciousness. I miss the 19th century wine though. It was by far the best wine I had ever tasted. My father had passed and my mother and I was left with nothing. I mourned for his death and was nothing better but a drunk. I did not feel that life was worth it anymore. There were so many dying around me, but when he died I was left with emptiness. Yes my mother was still there, but she wouldn’t speak to me. Her mourning made her silent and I never heard her beautiful stories of her adventures. I always loved her stories. I loved hearing the same ones even if I heard them a million times…
He wanted me so bad that he took away my life. Yes I wanted it at the time, but not like that. A new life like this is not a life…it’s a punishment. I didn’t believe I deserved it. If there is a God then I had done much better than most among us. I could blame him, but he wasn’t the one who turned me…
I didn’t know what had happened to me a first. I just woke up feeling not myself. He spoke of so much chaos I couldn’t think straight. They were riddles to me. Vampires wasn’t a word I thought of then. It was just a story you heard among the wise. I wasn’t told I was a vampire either. I was told I was one with the beautiful. The blessed. A gift I will adore since a new life is now granted to be eternal. How can someone, who wanted to not live, want to be reborn to another life and suffer eternity? Of course I didn’t know what had been done to me, but I was a prisoner to him. His actions, his words, everything about him kept me from running. I wondered of my mother and my past life, but I did nothing until it was too late…
There were others. That was my only way out. She was his first. She saved me because she did not want me to suffer anymore. I was going crazy. If I could I would thank her, but I’m sure she is confined by her actions. She was my second mother. I was saved by her love. She woke me of my nightmare and sent me to the real world. It wasn’t easy, but I somehow manage to get away. I didn’t know what to do. I was so confused. All I wanted to do was run and find my mother. I didn’t know how much long it had been, but I just kept running. I’m not sure how far I ran or how long. I just rremember showing up in front of the window and seeing her sitting with such frailty. She had changed so much since I last saw her. It was years and she grew older without me. I cried seeing her.
So much was happening and I didn’t know what was wrong with me. My body ached and I thirst for something I could not describe. I knew I wanted something badly…
I think I had fainted because I then was inside and she was crying my name. Before I knew it she was lying on the ground, staring at me with fear. She was dying. I saw so much blood and it trailed to me. You could say I freaked. Everything of course was happening so fast that I’m not sure exactly what happened. I only remember bits and pieces. There were others attacking me and dragging me. I managed to get away and ran as far as I could once again. I ended up stopping and cried for days knowing what I had done. After that the aching struck again and I attacked more and I could remember more clearly as to what I did. That’s when I realized a story was not just a story…
I’m sure this made not much sense, but you must understand that I cannot be fully informative. It’s hard enough to write all this, but again, I must test myself. This may be more of a reason to want to know me. Fine, but I will warn you I will not let anyone be close. I will not drag anyone into this life for it is not a gift…it is a punishment. It pisses me off at these fictionous stories as they grab people’s attention to the point of yearning. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. I apologize for the brutal truth.
I don’t know if it’s painful to turn or to be bit. I don’t even know how to turn someone. It’s not from just biting that’s for sure. I don’t remember and I don’t tend to go test it out either. I pray that all of you at least understand somewhat. At least understand and not yearn for this life for it’ll be your last. And by last I mean no reincarnation, no dying, no nothing…
You should hate the thought of vampires. Vampirism is just as bad as hell…I guess you could say. I’ve never experienced hell nor do I know if it’s real, but from what the bible says and all those who describe it in their own words, have given a good example of suffering. To suffer eternity…
Funny, I’m actually thinking of quitting this now… but you need to know. You need to know the truth…
