How shall I? I do have a hard time starting anything, but somehow I manage to accomplish it. I guess I’ll start with some ramblings. I tend to ramble anyway so why stop?

If you hadn’t already figured it out I am a vampire. Not those fictional vampires you all know of that is portrayed through history and television. Though they are very interesting, I do not have their traits. I, however, seem to be seen as angelic. Fictional vampires are beautiful, seductive creatures. That part is somewhat true. Those who are “changed” are usually the ones who we fall for. They usually do not have a choice in becoming one of us.

There are good and bad. I consider myself good because I do not believe in taking the unwilling. Actually, I do not take either willing or unwilling. I loathe the “vampire” itself…

I believe in choice.

This writing seems to be very complicated it seems. I will not be too detailed so your thoughts may wander. You never know, this might become a novel. I will not be the one publishing it.

I bet you are wondering how we live all these years without being seen. Well in the beginning it was real easy. Now it seems to be getting harder and harder as the years progress. Technology seems to be more complicated. It’s not that hard to figure it out once you have the time. Hell, I have all the time in the world. You get bored with sitting around for years and doing the same things day after day. You want to experiment. You learn things you never cared to learn in the past. I wasn’t much of a english person, but now I seem to force myself to learn it. Mostly, for my writing. I like to look back and read my previous journals. You can’t remember everything once you are a vampire. Your memories fade just as if you were mortal. The only difference is you don’t get older nor do you develop great memory loss due to age. I’m not saying everyone is that way.

My mind tries to avoid the past. It haunts me. So if you were to ask me what happened during this time period I will probably tell you little. I may remember nothing. I would have to really dig in my mind to find the memory, but I choose not to remember. Go ahead and ask. This is an opportunity for you to get to know me. I will only answer what I choose, keep in mind. It may also take me some time to think about it if I care to try and remember. I’ll try not to be too long.

I guess that is enough of my rambling. I want to end this with a memory. Maybe someone out there who is like me is reading this…

This isn’t too much of a terrible memory so I will not hesitate to proceed. I love to travel. I use to travel even before I was a vampire. My parents traveled all over the world. My mother was a curator and my father an archaeologist. They met while both working. I won’t be rambling of their lives, though.

I was born in Japan during one of their travelings. Since my birth we traveled and I helped discover everything new. It was happiness for me. Maybe one of the few happy memories I have left.

I enjoyed being with my parents and seeing the whole world. The best times were seeing it as a child because I asked so many questions and they had all the answers. If only it was that easy now…

My favorite to see is Antarctica. I love the pure whiteness the surrounded me. I would get lost in its brightness. I thought it was what heaven would look like. No worries. Nothing to witness. Just plain white. Why would you want distractions anyway? If you knew the bible you would know the commandments. I dare you too look them up. I’m not much of a religious person, but I’ve read it. I use to think that heaven wasn’t suppose to be anything like the world we live in. I believed that God wanted all we know to dissipate and not be distracted by making heaven of pure white. I wasn’t a huge fan of God’s belief. I use to get frustrated at some of the things he would say in the bible. Now I pray that he would grant me death so that I can be gone of the eternity. It seems that will never happen, but I still hope. Maybe there is a God. Maybe there isn’t. Only time will tell.

I still to this day visit Antarctica to remember our trips. It has changed dramatically over the years. I felt there use to be more to it then now. I hope it will still remain if anything was to happen to this world. I, too, think of the environment.

Another idea behind fictional vampires is that they are not affected by temperature. That is not true. I feel the different temperatures all the time. I sweat, feel cold or hot, and even feel pain. I feel pain the most through all aspects. The worst you can do to a vampire is let them starve. We will still live, but we will suffer from the feelings of starvation. I’ve never starved so I do not know what happens to our bodies. I don’t dare try to find out. I have, however, tried forcing myself to not drink. That was a mistake. You become monster and would drink someone till their death. I vow never to do that again…

Yes we do drink blood. I’m not sure if it’s the need for haem as the pophyrias need, though. That is an question I may never be able to answer. We can eat regular foods as well, but blood keeps us fed. Regular foods only go through our bodies as if we hadn’t eaten. It gets rather annoying…

Well I see that the time has flown past me so I must go. I need my rest. I choose to sleep days to avoid people. I hope to see some questions soon. I actually hoping for some which is odd. I guess I am getting too bored.